You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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