it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
