People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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