my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's never too late to be topless.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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