I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
