3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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