I want to stick my p in your. b.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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