Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
