You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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