i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
