We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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