I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
