We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
