covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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