big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
