U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
