FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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