it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
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Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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