Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
