Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
