Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
