i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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