he puts the penis in happiness.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
