He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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