Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
