grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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