It's like God shit irony all over that family
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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