i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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