is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
