Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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