We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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