Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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