hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
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I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
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Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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