when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
