I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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