You're so nebulous sometimes
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Did I turn a man straight...??