yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
