Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You took a bar mat shot.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.