dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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