Ketchup is God's man juice
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
