We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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