I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
