SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
