omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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