Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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