I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
