OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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