Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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