Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
