sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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