Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
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