I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
