I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
