why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So many bounce houses so little time
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
