Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize