Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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