PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
