idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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