Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
