I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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