don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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