I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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