I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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