Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
