He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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