Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
