Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
