I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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