We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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