small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
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Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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